Even in Death
by Wintry Arrogance
Summary: Brief fic about Sialeeds final days.


There were few things worse than having to admit anything to Gizel.

Yet here she was, for the sake of her niece and nephew. For Arshtat, for Ferid… for her country… waiting for Gizel to come to the cell they'd stuffed her in when she arrived. A small part of her said she'd just wanted an excuse to see him again. She ignored it, told it to shut up, but knew it was right. In the end there seemed to be no way to shake past feelings.

Sialeeds was relying on those feelings, though. Without them there would be no way to pull this off. If only so many past events had not happened…

There was no use dwelling on the past though. She snorted to herself and approached the cell to irritate her jailors. "How long do I have to wait?"

The dirty look Alenia gave her was priceless. "Shut up. You're the prisoner here."

"Is that how you address your superiors these days?" Alenia's silly crush on Gizel had always amused her, now it irritated her.

As Alenia opened her mouth, Zahhak put a hand on the woman's shoulder. Sialeeds suppressed a smirk as the Queen's Knight snapped her mouth shut. "He will be here as soon as he has attended to some pressing matters, Lady Sialeeds."

"Well, well. At least someone still has manners. Thank you, Zahhak," she replied, then returned to her uncomfortable little cot.

-.-.-.-

"You would think I'd get a little more respect for foiling my nephew's plan." Sialeeds muttered to herself. Her present guard was Galleon. She had no issues with him. In fact, he had made sure she got served more than the refuse they'd tried to give her. She had a sneaking suspicion he had purloined bits of his own dinner to sneak to her.

Still, how many hours had passed? It was likely nighttime, judging by the changing of the guard and all. Or day. Whichever, she hadn't slept much regardless. Even just sitting on the cot made her butt hurt (when it wasn't outright numb.) She was dirty, it smelled (she sincerely hoped the majority of the smell was _not_ her.) The chamber pot was so repulsive she had held it until she felt like she was going to pee herself.

With that thought, she drifted into a slight doze despite the uncomfortable nature of her surroundings. Her body was just too exhausted to deal with any more sleep deprivation.

Next thing she knew, there was a gentle hand shaking her awake. Miakis countered her immediate reaction amazingly well, seemed he'd been prepared for it. "Nice block." She murmured sleepily. Her smile was brief.

"Now I see why you wanted to wake her." Came a familiar voice from just behind the Galleon. Sialeeds peered as the elderly man moved out of the way.

"Yep. Now, I've got to get back to the Queen." Miakis said, then left.

"How nice of you to visit my home. I'd invite you to sit, but you might get your royal robes dirty." She quipped. Gizel's expression was left to her imagination since the lighting was utter crap. Smirking, probably. "Come." Was all he said, though.

With as much dignity as she could muster, she rose to follow the man. Galleon trailed along behind her in silence. To her vast relief, most of the smell did indeed belong to the cell rather than her. Perhaps it was silly to be concerned over such a trivial thing when her life was in jeopardy, but she couldn't help it. At least he couldn't read minds, he'd gloat for all eternity if he could.

When they reached his quarters he surprised her by asking Galleon to remain outside to guard the door. Inside, he sat and gestured for her to do the same. The moon was high in the sky, full. Moonlight was the only light in the impersonal room.

"I have to admit I'm surprised you don't think I'd kill you on the spot."

Gizel chuckled. "It's only fitting to meet one surprise with another."

She snorted. "How like you."

"Why did you do it?"

"You mean the amazing Gizel Godwin hasn't figured it out yet?" Sarcasm ran thick through her voice. To her surprise, he seemed annoyed.

"Answer the question."

Oh, how she didn't want to. It was just like him to get straight to the point at the time it would annoy her the most. She folded her arms below her bust and studied him in absolute silence, trying to gather the courage that had fled from the moment she had heard his voice. The silence stretched on, unbroken. Finally, she lowered her eyes to the floor… almost closed. It took effort to stop gritting her teeth.

"Because for some reason I still care about you." Her voice was little more than a whisper. He couldn't possibly have heard it. She'd have to say it again—yet as she opened her mouth to say it again she heard him stand.

"Do you." It wasn't a question. In fact, it sounded like he didn't believe her in the slightest. "Forgive me if I have trouble believing that." The blonde said dryly.

Sialeeds' eyes snapped up, narrowed, and focused on the man. "Unfortunately for me it's true." Of course it wouldn't be easy, not after their past relations. It was her fault, too, that was the part that stung the most. He might have turned out differently if… no, there was no point in thinking about that. "I could care less if you believe me or not. You asked, I answered."

"Hm." Was his noncommittal reply. More irritation flowed through her, but she held back any other nasty comments to wait for him to say something else.

An inordinate amount of time seemed to pass before he spoke again, expression thoughtful. "Whatever your true reason, you performed admirably. As such, you will be allowed to resume your normal life with one condition."

"Gee, thank you." She mumbled, so soft he might not have heard it. He ignored her if he did.

"You will have security assigned to you at all times."

If he expected her to object, she surprised him. She'd never know, though. He had become far too adept at showing only what he wanted to be seen. "All right."

-.-.-.-

Sialeeds found herself staring at her bottle of dye.

She was in the bath (oh, how nice it was to be clean and not have a trace of cell odor on her.) Normally, each time she took one, she had to tint her hair. The dye could survive a little in water, but the past few days she hadn't had any. It had taken some digging to find any, given the war. Now that she had… she found she didn't want to use it.

There were several reasons for that. First and foremost: the war. Beyond that it was that it didn't matter anymore. She had begun dying it to separate public opinion of her from Arshtat, had it done any good? There was also that she had been trying to escape memories of Gizel. Who she'd been then had died long ago… right?

If she were to even begin to prove to him she was telling the (unfortunate) truth it was as good a place as any to start.

Sialeeds wrapped her towel around herself before summoning one of her attendants. "Sell this for me, please. I do not care what you do with the money. Also, please bring me the dye stripper."

The attendant looked surprised, but scurried to do her bidding.

She smirked to herself, imagining the look on Gizel's face when he saw her. That alone would make this worth it.

-.-.-.-

When she showed up for dinner, she was still snubbed by virtually everyone. It bothered her that Lym appeared to hate her so much, but that was a consequence of her actions she had to live with.

The only difference tonight was the stares she was getting. So far no one had said anything about her hair, and Gizel appeared not to have even noticed (to her annoyance.) Then again, he might have seen her while she was making her way up and avoiding the wait staff. At a lull in the conversation, during which everyone seemed to be trying not to look at her, he glanced her way.

"Lady Sialeeds, have you done something different with your hair?"

If she hadn't been diplomatically trained as well, she would have erupted like a volcano. _Had she done something different with her hair?_ Of all the… no, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. So she gave him a perfectly sweet, empty smile. "Oh, I merely stopped coloring it."

Alenia's expression at least made this worthwhile… she looked like she had swallowed a worm. It was Galleon who spoke next, diverting the conversation from Gizel completely.

Well… so much for that.

-.-.-.-

Mostly she stayed in her room. She could go mostly where she pleased, provided her security detail came with, but didn't. Despite Lym's age she was the Queen, her obvious dislike of Sialeeds made any nobles remaining shun her as well. So she did little except sleep, bathe, and drink. It was exceedingly hard to see Gizel unless she asked directly, even then she had a suspicion he made her wait just to make her fume.

This latest plot that had involved forcibly equipping the Twilight Rune to Alenia had caused her gales of laughter, though she was smart enough to do so in private. There was no way it would work. She'd told him as much, but he'd ignored her advice of course.

At the moment she was lurking outside his office. There was some sort of meeting going on in it, and she was determined to ambush him the moment it was over. She had intended to just barge in, but the guard with her had made it clear he wouldn't allow it. Royalty or not.

Sometime later when everyone involved had trickled out the door she seized her chance. Gizel was alone, just as she wanted. She strode in, put her hands on her hips, and spread her feet in a stubborn posture. "What do I have to do to prove myself?" The guard went out the door and closed it at a simple nod from the man.

"Being a pest is not the way to do it. Once a turncoat, always a turncoat."

Her initial reaction was to glare. She allowed her emotions to alter the expression though, going from irritation to exasperation. Perhaps a touch of melancholy. He couldn't see it with his back turned, but it didn't matter. Sialeeds walked toward him, unsure what she was going to do until she was there. His back went absolutely rigid the moment she laid a hand on his shoulder.

She ignored the reaction, and leaned down to whisper in his ear. The words were hard to say, her throat felt like it was choking. Her mouth felt dry, her heart pounded. "I love you." Her struggle to say it probably came through. She couldn't do anything about it.

"Isn't it a little inappropriate to be making advances on your niece's husband?"

It was a good thing he couldn't see her, her mouth dropped open before she could stop it. She jerked her hand back like he was poisonous and turned her back on him. "You know where I'll be if you want my services." Sialeeds replied acidly. The acidity helped to disguise that he'd managed to actually hurt her.

"Passed out drunk in your room?"

"You know me so well." She confirmed, unable to keep her voice from seething. Determined to get the last word, she stormed out as quietly as she could manage.

-.-.-.-

Sialeeds hadn't kept track of how many days had passed since then. Mostly she had her meals sent up to her room, avoiding even seeing the source of her woes. _Woes_, such an irritating thing that she even had them!

She was sitting in her room in her nightgown, getting ready to go to bed, when there was a knock at her door. Up went one eyebrow. "Who is it?"

"Gizel."

"Give me a moment." Speak of the devil. Sialeeds secured a robe over her nightgown, then opened the door. Ironically her current wardrobe was less revealing than her normal one. "What?" She asked, not in the mood to be nice to him.

"Are you willing to prove it?" He asked, expression so unreadable he might as well have been a statue that moved.

She crossed her arms. "I told you I would."

His lips curved in what was undoubtedly a small smirk. "Then bear the Twilight Rune against your nephew."

Sialeeds had always known it would probably come to her working against her sister's son… it wasn't as much of a shock as the blonde seemed to think it would be. She'd practiced similar scenarios countless times in her mind. She was ready for him.

"Wasn't Alenia your puppet of choice?" She asked mockingly.

Gizel's lips tightened a little, barely discernable. "The rune seems to be a bit touchy about its wielder."

Sialeeds smirked. "I'm your second choice, then? I'm touched." She shook her head, stretched, and smiled sweetly. "I told you I would prove it to you. If you're in a rush we'll just go visit the Rune Mistress now."

-.-.-.-

So she'd proven herself.

Great.

He probably still didn't believe her. Her family hated her, most everyone probably did. She smiled sadly up at the sky, toward the sun. "Forgive me, Arshtat." Sialeeds murmured, something she said at least once a day if not more. It had been necessary. Knowing what she knew, she was even more certain of her decision than ever. Unfortunately it required her to fight Frey…

Her nephew should be here any minute. He wasn't one to lead from behind, he'd lead from in front.

As much as it killed her to deliberately hurt him like this… she had no choice.

-.-.-.-

When she closed her eyes, succumbing to her fate, she drove the image of Lucretia out of her mind. Piece by piece, she tried to reconstruct Gizel's face in her mind. He was smart… perhaps he would run. No, his pride would not let him. No matter how hard she tried, his image wouldn't come to her. Rather than become clearer it faded. She was vaguely aware of breathing his name, then she was no longer aware of anything at all.


End file.
